- Items to make you laugh out loud
- Articles of interest on chiropractic and on health
But first these court items......These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place:
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an
autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
**********Articles and quotes of interest *************
"A kind of superintelligence exists in each of us, infinitely smarter and possessed of technical know-how far beyond our present understanding"
----Lewis Thomas, M.D. The Medusa and the Snail
"A new medicine is in the making - one in which mind, consciousness, meaning and intelligence play key roles."
----Larry Dossey, M.D. Space, Time and Medicine
"Life is the center where the material and the spiritual forces of the Universe seem to meet and be reconciled."
----Edward Sinnot, renown Yale biologist
"Chiropractic corrects the hidden distortions within man."
----Cash Asher, Mrs. Civilization's Children
A HEALING REVOLUTION
The rise of chiropractic has been one of the most remarkable social phenomena in American history. --Brian Inglis, THE CASE FOR UNORTHODOX MEDICINE
We are in the midst of a healing revolution. People are visiting chiropractors, homeopaths, naturopaths, nutritionists, acupuncturists, craniosacral therapists, shiatsu practitioners, massage therapists, midwives, herbalists, and other alternative healers in record numbers. They're reading food labels and watching what they eat, avoiding cigarettes, taking vitamins, having natural births, and breast feeding their babies. Rather than being passive recipients of a prescription, they are asking questions, reading, and exploring. They've rediscovered the healthy American distrust of absolute authority, love of freedom of choice, and self-responsibility. Please feel free to ask us questions, discuss matters of concern and let us help you discover greater health.
Are You Losing Height?
One of the most common signs that you need chiropractic care is loss of height. Although with age people often lose height - that doesn't have to be. Most height loss is due to spinal disc thinning and abnormal curves due to years of poor spinal health and bad posture. Chiropractic been able to halt height loss and even return some lost height to the spine.(1) If you aren't as tall as you used to be, or are concerned with loss of height, come in for a spinal checkup. One of the findings from the 84-day Skylab mission was that the astronauts grew taller - as much as an inch and three quarters - because the distance between the spinal discs increased in their weightless environment.]
Chiropractic and Spinal Research
Did you know there are thousands of papers from different journals on the wonders of chiropractic and spinal care in health and disease? Anyone who has any kind of health problem needs chiropractic care. Is there any disease or condition you'd like to know about? Ask us.
1) Irritable Bowel Syndrome and Chiropractic
Irritable bowel syndrome (also called mucous colitis and nervous bowel affects) affects millions. It is an uncomfortable condition with cramping, abdominal pain, diarrhea or constipation, heartburn or upper abdominal indigestion. In this study a 25-year-old woman with chronic irritable bowel syndrome for the past five years visited a chiropractor. Her symptoms began to disappear that day and two years later she remained symptom free.
2) Disc Herniation and Chiropractic
Can chiropractic reverse neck and low back disc herniation? 27 patients with painful disc herniations of the neck and low back (lumbar) spine received chiropractic care. MRIs revealed that in 63% of the patients the herniations had completely disappeared or been reduced.
3) Ear Infection and Chiropractic
A child had chronic ear infections since birth for the first year of his life. He received a chiropractic adjustment at 11 months of age and after 8 weeks of care the child had not experienced an ear infection for one month and had not had any drugs or antibiotics since chiropractic care. Improvements in personality and behavior were noted by mother, baby-sitters and chiropractor.
4) Fibromyalgia and Chiropractic
Five men and 18 women (11 to 76 years of age) suffering from fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome for 2 to 35 years began chiropractic care. The number of visits ranged from 20 to 48. Every patient improved to such a degree they were able to resume normal activities including full time work at 1 to 1 year follow up. The improvement in symptoms ranged from 92 to 100%.
5) Pelvic Pain and Chiropractic
A woman suffered diarrhea, pelvic pain and reduced genital sensitivity for 18 years. Because of reduced genital sensitivity, she had been unable to experience orgasm and had pelvic pain during intercourse. MDs treated her with an appendectomy for abdominal pain (appendix was normal), partial hysterectomy and left oophorectomy (tuber removal), three exploratory bowel surgeries for chronic diarrhea, pain, rectal bleeding and mucous discharge and four bladder surgeries - without resolution. Within eight weeks of her first adjustment there was a complete resolution of symptoms including pelvic pain and diarrhea. Genital sensitivity improved and patient was able to achieve orgasm on a regular basis after thirty weeks.
6) Did you know....the brain uses 20% of the body's energy, generating 25 watts of power during waking hours, but accounts for only 2% of body weight? Messages within the brain travel at speeds of up to 250 mph. It's All in Your Head: A Guide to Understanding Your Brain and Boosting Your Brain Power by Susan L. Barrett.
7) Breast Feeding Saves Money....When a child is breast-fed for more than six months, the family saves an average of $1,400 in health-care costs during the baby's first year of life...plus savings on formula, bottles and other feeding supplies. Study by HMO Kaiser Permanente, reported in Wake Up and Smell the Money (Viking) by Ginger Applegarth, Boston.
Also...Breastfeeding is protective against SIDS; eczema is less common and milder in babies who are breastfed; a marked reduction in the risk of developing ovarian cancer was associated with having breastfed; breast fed stools produce an enzyme that helps destroy bacteria that produces diaper rash....International Chiropractic Pediatric Newsletter May 1995.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. An 8-year-old boy with ADHD also had constant throat congestion, raspy voice, ear infections, upper respiratory infections and back pain. He had experienced seizures when he had infections and was on Phenobarbitol™ . Whenever he stayed up late he got sick. Symptoms of poor health started immediately after birth which was with forceps and vacuum extraction. After 4 weeks chiropractic care his mother reported "dramatic improvements." He sits still for much longer periods, no longer had a raspy voice or back pain, has improved disposition and no longer gets sick when he stays up late. "Child with chronic illness: respiratory infections, ADHD, and fatigue. Response to chiropractic care." Peet P. Chiropractic Pediatrics. 1997;3(1):12.
Schizophrenia. 8 children, 4 normal and 4 toe walkers (diagnosed with schizophrenia) had chiropractic care. All 8 children vocalized, verbalized and appeared more alert and responsive after spinal adjustments. Parents of the 4 toe walkers additionally reported no observable dysphagia (difficulty swallowing) during family meals. The parents also reported undisturbed and less disrupted sleeping patterns since the initial adjustment. After 180 days, all toe-walking ceased. "Receptor based manipulative lesions in children who toe walk." Press H. Proceedings of the National Conference on Chiropractic and Pediatrics. Oct, 1993 Palm Springs, CA. Pub. International Chiropractors Assoc., Arlington, VA.
Allergies, asthma, improved breathing, better digestion and better vision. In a Swedish study, patients from 87 chiropractic offices reported on conditions helped. Among them were: improvements with asthma/allergies and breathing, improved digestion, clearer/better/sharper vision, improved circulation, and improved acne/eczema. Leboeuf-Yde C, Axen I, Ahlefeldt G, et al. "The types and frequencies of nonmusculoskeletal symptoms reported after chiropractic spinal manipulative therapy." Journal of Manipulative and Physiological Therapeutics. 1999;22(9):559-564.
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